Alternative jokes
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"
God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
What's an Emo's favorite drink?
Water, JK it's cyanide.
Whatever happened to the emo? (wrong answer only)
Memes
Why have I not seen these posters in my neighbourhood?
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"
"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.
The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"
Alternative punchline:
"I had to call social services, she was only 14."
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
In an alternate universe: I don't know how to solve the power of 10, but I do know how to pay taxes.
I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"
Memes
Community
Slightly Edited rules and dependability.
1. Prohibited Content: Pornographic or explicit material is strictly prohibited. Images from movies or games may be exempt depending upon contextual appropriateness.
2. Harassment: Any form of repeated or excessive harassment outside of friendly joking is not tolerated. Warnings and bans will be given accordingly. Depending on the severity of the issue the warnings can range… Read more
Slightly Edited rules and dependability.
1. Prohibited Content: Pornographic or explicit material is strictly prohibited. Images from movies or games may be exempt depending upon contextual appropriateness.
2. Meme Usage: Excessive meme usage in the community is discouraged . Memes should be shared in the designated section Repeated violations will result in warnings, with up Five warnings given depending on the se… Read more
The post made recently by "Anonymous" might possibly be true, I have no control over you guys but I do suggest to stop posting like what was asked, apparently there is some legal charges being pressed agaisnt Matt? So for everyones safety use our alternative websites, Thank you