Another

Another jokes

Child

  • What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!

    Not funny, here’s another.

    Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.

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  • Pen

  • I just bought two new biro pens.

    One is light blue with hints of purple and another is green with hints of white.

    They're filled with monster's ink.

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  • Cent

  • "Does this make any cents?" a man says.

    "Oh, it does make cents," me. <-- thing: Lemin"aid" <-- another joke.

    Husband

  • Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.

    She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.

    The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,

    "Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."

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  • Gun

  • One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.

    Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.

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  • Orphan

  • What do you call an orphan with parents?

    Idk, I never met one before.

    Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."

    Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.

    More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?

    An orphan.

    Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?

    Because they can’t find one.

    lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!

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  • Cow

  • One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"

    The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."

    Clown

  • Clowns were doing an egg contest, and one clown had their egg crack, and another clown said, "The yoke's on you!"

    Worm

  • A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.

    A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.

    BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.

    NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)

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  • Virus

  • One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."

    A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"

    Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."

    Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"

    Pizza

  • What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?

    A Topping.

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  • Dog

  • A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.

    The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”

    The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”

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  • Entry

  • Steven Hawking's Sesh Cave, entry 50p, guaranteed Budweiser and ecstasy. Maybe a gram of heroin. You'll most likely see a mental 90-year-old guy absolutely going mental on the dance floor with a Stella in one hand and another on his crotch.

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  • People

  • If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?

    (Stupid People)

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