Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr*.
On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮💨
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
I like turtles.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
