Animal jokes
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr*.
On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
What do you call a blind German shepherd?
A Nazi.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"