Animal jokes
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr*.
On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
Memes
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.