Animal

Animal jokes

You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.

Why do orphans like cows?

Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To become the spicy chicken burger at Chic-fil-A.

The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"

"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."

"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"

"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."

"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"

"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."

"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"

Man: How tall is a penguin?

Bartender: About three foot, why?

Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!

Poor car.

I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!

Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"

I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.