I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
What do you call New York City?
A human zoo.
I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?
And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave? I dont have a slave in my sex dungeon.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
You want to know what annoying people and dogs have in common.
The female ones are called "bitch."
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
What sort of movies do cows like to watch?
Moosicals!
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.
Where do otters come from? Otter space.
I used to have a goldfish which breakdanced on the floor. But only for like twenty seconds.
My girlfriend said to me dear i think you have hit an animal theirs blood and dents all over the bonnet
I said no love, im not waiting for a black lives matter rally
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalottapuss.
