Animal jokes
What do you call a cow that can't milk?
A failure!
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.
What animal jumps the highest?
An emo kid, some of them are still up there.
Jimmy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Joe: Why?
Jimmy: To get to the idiot’s house.
Jimmy: Knock knock.
Joe: Who’s there?
Jimmy: It’s the chicken.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and a cow?
You can't milk the same cow for 15 years.
What do you call a legless cow?
Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?
Because he cheated on a test.
Why do you not play with a cheetah? Because they cheat!
You cheetah.
No, you lion.
What's the smartest insect? A spelling bee!
Why did the Dinosaur cross the road?
'Cause the Chicken wasn't born yet.
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
What do you call a hippo that lays eggs? A eggoppotimos.
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
My dog died today. 😥
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
My dog died. I'm so sad.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.