Animal jokes
Did you hear about the new doggy condos?
Apparently they are now releasing!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody likes that joke.
A duck walks into a bar and says, "Got any bread?"
The bartender says, "No bread here."
And then the duck says, "Got any bread?"
And the bartender says, "Didn't I just f***ing say that there was no bread here?"
And the duck says, "Got any bread?!"
And the bartender says, "You stupid duck! Or should I say d***? There's no bread here. Don't make me say that again, or I'll pin you to the wall with a nail."
So the duck says, "Got any nails?"
And then the bartender looks surprised, and says, "Of course I've got f***ing nails. Can't you see them?"
And the duck says, "Got any bread?"
And the bartender throws the duck out of the bar.
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
First Man: My dog's got no nose.
Second Man: How does he smell?
First Man: Awful.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
What do you call an animal that smells?
A smelly-phant.
That joke is really not funny.
What did the boy goat say to his girlfriend?
You're my boo!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Worst joke ever.
What did the parrot say when it saw a duck?
"Polly want a quacker!"
Worst joke ever.
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
Where did the cows go to a date?
To the moo-vies!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to KFC.
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?
A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.