Animal jokes
What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
Two whales went to a bar.
The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh." The second whale said, "Greg, I think you're drunk, let's go home."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
For absolutely no reason.
Q: What breed of dog is supposed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A: A Chihuahua.
What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?
"Meow!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To check out the chicks!
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.
One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.
Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?
A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
Q: Wanna hear a bad cat joke?
A: Just kitten!
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
What’s a cow with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
When do eggs hatch?
At the CRACK of dawn!
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.