Animal jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock. Who's there?
The chicken...
Who is chicken's favorite actor?
James Cor-hen!
What should you name a dog without any legs?
It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.
How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?
They egg-xercise every day!
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
pop pop meow?
What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars? A Lambo.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
Why did the bee get married?
Because she found her honey.
What do you call a scared octopus?
An octopussy.
What has four legs and an arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.
Teacher: What does a chicken give you?
Student: An egg!
Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.
What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
What time do dogs wake up? At school is the time dogs wake up.
Nothing lasts long these days!
As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"