Animal jokes
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.
What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
What time do dogs wake up? At school is the time dogs wake up.
Nothing lasts long these days!
As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"
What do you call a zoo with no dogs? A shit zoo! 😂😂😂😂😂
I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.
Fat, mean, and probably inbred.
I love animals!
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
What is the octopus's favorite shape?
An octagon.
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
If you spin a fidget spinner, You'll end up spinning it too fast. When you end up spinning it too fast, it will make you fly away. When you fly away, you'll end up in a tree. When you end up in a tree, you'll see that your friends are hanging out without you. When you see that your friends are hanging out without you, you'll run away in the woods because you're sad. When you ran away in the woods, you'll see a bear. When you see a bear, it will chase you. When the bear chases you, you'll build a fort to protect yourself. When you build a fort to protect yourself, you then notice you're lonely. You'll become friends with the bear. When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear. When you start to act like a bear, you will become a bear.
DO NOT BECOME A BEAR! NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER!
What has a dog?
People.
What is cats and dogs' favorite story and movie?
"Romeow and Drooliet!"
A person went to tell a joke: "Knock knock!" "Who’s there?" "I don’t remember!" (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now.)
I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂
Where do cows get their medicine?
At the farmacy.
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂
Yo mama is so fat, I thought she was a beach whale.