Animal jokes
If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
What goes white, black, white, black, red?
A zebra falling down the stairs.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
What is it called when young sheep bet?
LAMbling.
(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)
I like cats.
Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
What’s another name for a cow?
You... cause you're fat.
What is a meatball without spaghetti? A cow.