Animal jokes
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!
I have a big cock.
Why is the cheetah so fast?
Because it can't walk slow.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the British bastard and get the egg roll.
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
Why did the koala climb the tree?
To get to the other branch. :)
He made it, don't worry!
If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
What goes white, black, white, black, red?
A zebra falling down the stairs.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.