I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
What do you call a llama that was in 9/11, Osama Bin Llama
My favorite animal is a cheetah so I hope the jokes are good
Why couldn't the pony sing a song?
He was a little horse.
What happend to the cheetah that took to many baths?
The cheetah became spotless
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
what did the duck say to the drug dealer?
GIMME SOME OF THAT QUACK!
What do you call a animal in space just death because you need a space suit
Why do cheetah always win the race because he cheats duh
What is the Sexiest Animal alive?The Βυττerfly
What animal can jump the highest the highest? The Emo kids
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal. The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot and the son answers: "Holy Cow!!!" Father: "What do you mean Holy Cow?" Son: "You shot a hole in the cow of course!!!"
What do you get when you cross an alligator with a vest?
An investigator
Therapy -Expensive -Years of hard work -Emotionaly draining -Tough to find
Screaming in the woods -Free -Immediate relief -Scares hunters enough to leave therefore saving innocent animals -Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods
I asked my dog this morning how her weeks been going- she said "ruff". I feel her you know? I feel her.
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?" Kid: "A leopard." Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air." Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
A women brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and request further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his had and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs of quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, my beloved hamster is dead. "I'm sorry for your loss", the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars" says the vet. "what? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
So here's the joke. A bear walks into a bar and sits down and then....then..........then................................zzzz
