How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
Octopus more like octopussy
One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...
...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you."
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
