Animal jokes
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
What happens when you eat a cat?
I love to eat cats for dinner!
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his bark tracks!
What's a rapper's favorite type of pet?
A rhyming parrot.
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "๐ถ"
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
To make some BUZZWORTHY TRACKS!
What's a rapper's favorite animal?
RHYMENOCEROS!
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, theyโll come get you.
What do you call a smart blonde Labrador?
What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?
A boomboxer.
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
Why does rapeboat like going to the dog shelter? It's cheaper than a whore house.
Leo is more useless than a HEDGEHOG with ALOPECIA.
Why did the Octopus go down the toilet?
Because he had a toilet call in the drain.
Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?
So they don't explode when you f*** them.
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! ๐๐