My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O.'"
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?" "I'm a butcher," he says.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
What do pigs use to clean up? Hogwash.
What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
