Animal jokes
What do you call a black goldfish? A gigger.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen! Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and angrily sits down. She says to a man next to her “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Q: What do gay horses say?
A: "Geigh!"
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
What happens when you eat a cat?
I love to eat cats for dinner!
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his bark tracks!
What's a rapper's favorite type of pet?
A rhyming parrot.
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
To make some BUZZWORTHY TRACKS!
What's a rapper's favorite animal?
RHYMENOCEROS!
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
What do you call a smart blonde Labrador?
What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?
A boomboxer.