Animal jokes
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
To make some BUZZWORTHY TRACKS!
What's a rapper's favorite animal?
RHYMENOCEROS!
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
What do you call a smart blonde Labrador?
What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?
A boomboxer.
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
Why does rapeboat like going to the dog shelter? It's cheaper than a whore house.
Leo is more useless than a HEDGEHOG with ALOPECIA.
Why did the Octopus go down the toilet?
Because he had a toilet call in the drain.
Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?
So they don't explode when you f*** them.
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to fish?
MC Hammerhead.
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
Because he wanted to make some HONEY FLOWS.
Watchdogs.
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.