LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?
Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.
Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.
The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!
Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
What's the difference between a midget and a tall person? Only one of them can ride the rides.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.
Where do people with no legs go to have fun?
Legnoland.