American jokes
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
Americans leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
Why can't Americans play chess...
Because they lost 2 towers.
Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
What is the national bird of Iran?
An American drone.
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.
Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"
Friend: "Dagobert Duck."
Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."
Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"
Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"
A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.
A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.
«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.
A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».
Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.
What do the initials ACLU stand for?
🤔
American Communist Lawyers Union.
Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.
The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.
In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!
What did COVID say to the American?
Nothing, it just took its breath away...
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
Why was the American kid late to school?
Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.
He do American feel like Trump is the president, he is stupid like soup.