American jokes
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.
You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
When do Americans answer their door?
Once freedom rings! ❤️🤍💙
American: I've never shot a gun.
African: That's the first coming from an American!
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
Why are Americans such good marksmen?
Because they had plenty of schools to practice their shooting.
Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.
What did the American say to the Russian?
"Why are you always Russian?"
I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."
This is American politics that is not true.
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!
British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎
How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
4
If Joe Biden and Kamala Harris jump off a cliff, who survives?
Americans...
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.