American Jokes

An american is touring the Soviet union. A russian takes him to a school so he can see what its like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The american asks whats wrong and he cries "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"

Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?!?

When you have a hand clock it goes tic-tac. When an American has it go backwards it tactic.

Americans: i will cook the pizza Italians: I Cooka De Pizza

Why are Americans so good at rubix cubes?

They are skilled at seperating colors.

What's black and white and red all over? An American School.

If you'r american when you go in the bathroom and you american when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

So I was on a discord call the other day and one of my friends American buddies joined and we had a conversation.

Until they say: when did pounds change to quid.

And I said: 'they're the exact same thing.'

Then they said:

"but when did it happen?"

So I said:

"when did school change to shooting range?"

What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US??

The average iq increases in both places.

why did my dad cross the road.

to get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on american soil

In British chess I guess they play without a queen...

But in American chess they play without 2 towers

German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys. American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun. African XP farms: Cotton field.