America jokes
What do you call intelligent people in America?
Tourists.
What does a foreigner say when he comes to America?
I don't know, I don't speak foreignish...
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.
What did the Brit say to the American?
Well here comes fascism.
9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.
It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.
Memes
If Joe Biden and Kamala Harris jump off a cliff, who survives?
Americans...
Did you hear about the baseball game between America and Ethiopia?
America - 8
Ethiopia - didn't.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.
Osama bin Laden rated America.
He gave us a 9/11.
What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!
And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
Joe Biden
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Cheese.
Bald Eagle.
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
Why do fat cows eat fat cows? Because I wrote this in America.