America jokes
This is funny.
Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.
Does Donald know his wife is Mexican?
America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.
Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?
omg look what homer said
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.
What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!
And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!
In America, you work on a plantation.
In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!
Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony. He opened up a pasta shop and made some macaroni.
"What’s your name?"
"Am erica."
"No, I asked for your name, not your country."
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."
Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
How do you make a plumber cry?
You kill his family.
What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?
Alien vs. Predator.
Watersharky Music Productions Presents As It Was by Harry Styles.
Holdin' me back Gravity's holdin' me back I want you to hold out the palm of your hand Why don't we leave it at that?
Nothin' to say When everything gets in the way Seems you cannot be replaced And I'm the one who will stay, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Answer the phone "Harry, you're no good alone Why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?"
Ringin' the bell And nobody's coming to help Your daddy lives by himself He just wants to know that you're well, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Go home, get ahead, light-speed internet I don't wanna talk about the way that it was Leave America, two kids follow her I don't wanna talk about who's doin' it first.