Always

Always jokes

I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.

"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"

People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.

What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?

A penis always goes in the hole.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.

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  • I hated church growing up as a child. It was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!

    As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.

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  • What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?

    Condoms!

    Why does the pimp always use job fairs as a way of recruiting new hoes?

    He always gets a great turnout.

    So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.

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  • My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."

    - One of the thousands of missing children.

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