Why does the pimp always use job fairs as a way of recruiting new hoes?
He always gets a great turnout.
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."
- One of the thousands of missing children.
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.