My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
What do Cells always have on them?
A Cell Phone!
Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. đ
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
Don't trust stairs... They are always up to something.
How is an orphan like a boomerang?
They always come back!
Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).
im a teacher at a highschool but i got fired they told me i didnt do any work even though i always did a skele-ton
"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
Whatâs the difference between a penis and a golf ball?
A penis always goes in the hole.
Never trust a donkey; they are always full of shit.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.
I hated church growing up as a child. It was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
