I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.
Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
Guy 1: P-gay or T-gay?
Guy 2: P-gay sounds cooler.
Guy 1: Yeah me too. I don't like P-ewDiePie, always love T-series.
Guy 2: Omg what did i just say? I wasn't even knowing what were you talking about :<
Guy 1: Like I do care :$
Guy 3: But I do care :<
Guy 1: F*ck you.
Guy 3: Do it.
Guy 2: But you do care about me.
Guy 3: No.
Guy 2: F*ck you.
Guy 3: Do it.
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
See, I was always told puns are funny.
But I can see now they aren't punny.
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
What do Cells always have on them?
A Cell Phone!
Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
Don't trust stairs... They are always up to something.
How is an orphan like a boomerang?
They always come back!
Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
