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Airplane

Airplane jokes

I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.

The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.

Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."

Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"

Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."

Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."

  • 2

    • Who are the fastest readers in the world?

    9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.

    Why did the plane crash?

    Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.

    I see all these 9/11 jokes, and I’m disgusted. I personally won’t make a 9/11 joke because they have a tendency to crash and burn.

    911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.

    This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.

  • 5

    • Why did Hitler lose the war?

    Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!