Airplane jokes
Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.
How are the faster readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they read 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Viggie tickles.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
I see all these 9/11 jokes, and I’m disgusted. I personally won’t make a 9/11 joke because they have a tendency to crash and burn.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
Why did Hitler lose the war?
Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!
Moose jokes, why did the moose fly with an airplane? Because it was a skoose.
I dropped my phone, but it’s on airplane mode.
What did the airplane say to the tower? Allahu Akbar!
Jerry: My dad got into a fight on a plane.
Jeremy: That's just *plane* crazy!
I hate airplanes!
What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school"?
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
I'm in school right now, but I'm on an airplane.
What do you call a flying bus?
An Airbus.
A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, "What is a tragedy?"
One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "If my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy."
A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says, "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!"
"Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.