Airplane jokes

What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?

New Yorkers.

How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.

What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?

A plane wingless.

"I like planes."

- Plane Guy

Science gets you to the moon.

Religion flies you into buildings.

I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world?

Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.

Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.

Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.

My name is Big Dick.

Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?

Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.

Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.

If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?

12, because fish don't drown.

Hi Mom, how are you doing?

My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.

Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF

My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?

Anyone wanna buy me Season X on Fortnite?

My dick hard.

People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.

According to all known laws of aviation,

there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Coming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

- Barry? - Adam?

- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!

Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

What is the address?