Agriculture jokes
Where does cotton candy come from? The cotton pickers!
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
Why do orphans sit in apple trees?
They wait to be picked.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.
You guys are cow-medians!
So funny!
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
Rabbit poop is cereal.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?
Because they had horns!
Sneed feed seed.
Formerly Chuck's!
My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.