Agriculture jokes
What do you call a bad bull?
A bully.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.
The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"
That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
Why did the ox get kicked out of the herd?
Because it wasn't being an ox, it was being a butt-ox...!
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.
What is a cow's favorite class in school?
Moosic.
Why did the beans fuck the mum to make bouncing beans?
A person went to tell a joke: "Knock knock!" "Who’s there?" "I don’t remember!" (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now.)
I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂
Why did the cow eat?
Because it was hungry.
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.
What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
What do cows like to do?
Cow-culating!
Why did the ass start a gardening service?
It was great at dropping SEEDS.
Farmer: Phew! I got all the eggs from the chickens!
Farmer #2: EGGcellent!
What do you call a policeman/farmer?
A farmer in blue!
What do cows read? The moospaper!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.