Agriculture jokes
What do you call a dead black plantation worker? Fertilizer.
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
What do you call a group of masturbating cows?
Beef stroganoff.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?
A cow in an earthquake is called a milkshake.
What did the cow say to the farmer? Moo away!
My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
What does the Cow say to the spy?
"Are you udder cover?"
The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”