Agriculture jokes
What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
What do you call a gay cow? A gay cow.
So I'm a cow, guess what my dad thinks of that? He says I'm a loooosmer.
Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Ok, wanna hear another one? Okay. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken from the other joke.
What do pimps and farmers have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
Cow jokes are udder-culous (ridiculous)!
Why does Oscar Field have no friends? Because he spends time on his fields.
Why were parts of the Soviet Union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2?
They couldn't beet the Nazis.
One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?
Ground Beef.
The cow was stuck because 3 retarded piggies were blocking him.
What did the cow say to the pigs, "MOOOVE!"
What did the cow say to the prostitute?
Moo.
What do you call a bad bull?
A bully.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.
The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"
That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.