Agriculture jokes
Why did the people get a chicken?
To make eggs.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.
Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.
Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.
So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!
What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?
Grounded beef.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
How do you count cows with a cowculator?
What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
What did the DJ say to the VEGETABLE?
"Lettuce turnip the beet!"
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Students: "Meat."
Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"
Students: "Bacon."
Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"
One of the students: "Homework!"
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Disabled.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.