Agriculture jokes
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
Cotton gets picked.
What do you call a legless cow?
Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
What is a cow’s favorite newspaper?
The Daily Moos.
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
The potholes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden.
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a dead cow?
You can’t milk a dead cow for 20 years.
Why are bees' hair sticky?
Because they use honeycombs!
Why did the cow knock over Johnny?
Because the cow felt like to dumb.
Why do cows have babies?
They moo-ved together.
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
I had a calf for a while. The milk was bad until we bought a heifer.
What is it called when corn stalks have a baby?
The cream of the crop.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean meat.