Agriculture jokes
What did the farmer who lost his tractor say?
*waits 25 seconds*
"I lost my tractor!"
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
A cow with no legs.
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
Why are orphans different from apples?
Apples get picked.
Are you a bull, because I wanna ride you like a rodeo.
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
What is a cow's favorite dance move?
The milkshake.
Two windmills stand at a farm. One asks the other, "What is your favorite kind of music?"
The other windmill replies, "I'm a huge metal fan!"
What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?
I yam.
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
Why did the cow say moo?
Because he had to go poo.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
The cow was stuck because 3 retarded piggies were blocking him.
What did the cow say to the pigs, "MOOOVE!"
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
What is a cow's favorite class in school?
Moosic.