Agriculture jokes
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
Why did the people get a chicken?
To make eggs.
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!
I fell into a water bed with super soil. Next thing I'm in a flower bed.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
Why does the Democratic party want the Republican party to breed rabbits?
Because Democrats are tired of paying for raisins at the grocery store.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What is the difference between an orange and an orphan?
The orphan always gets picked... Oh wait, I meant an orange always gets picked.
What do you call a two-legged cow? Lean beef.
I had a calf for a while. The milk was bad until we bought a heifer.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
You keep your quality beans for the right season till you realize that you planted them on the infertile land.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"