Agriculture jokes
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
What do you call a chicken with no legs? Ground chicken 🤣💀🐔 Get WRAY'DDDDD!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
It's still called a "cow."
Like if you blow male cows?
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to get grapes off a bush, the bush says, "Bitch, I never thought they can grow that big!"
What is the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
What do you call a two-legged cow? Lean beef.
What did the cow tell an Indian?
Moo!
"Bitch, I’m a cow, bitchhhhh."
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
What do you call a retarded cow?
Vegan (vegetable).