Age jokes

Yo mama so old.

Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!

How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.

Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.

But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."

Nurse: *Laughs*

Kid: "Why are you laughing?"

Nurse: "When I get OLDER."

Proceeds to laugh.

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”

Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?

What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?

There's twenty of them.

Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.

Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!

Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."

What’s the best thing about fucking twenty-eight year olds?

There’s twenty of them!

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye, matey!

Hey, what's your age, Jordan? Probably 5 years old.

Your hairline is so far back that I hate it! 🤣

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

Little girls cry. Big girls say, "F*ck."

What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?

They both died at 95.

If her internal clock can tock, she can sit on my cock.

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.