Age jokes

Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.

Your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called "Burger Prince."

If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?

A "retiree."

Your hairline and forehead must be friends, because they go way back further than the universe.

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.

Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.

I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.

I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.

What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.

What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?

Oh wait, I am because she's 10.

For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

What’s the difference between a dad and a boomer age?

One, I grow some som more, yea, I am 4. I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, that's me.

Yo mamma so old that when she farts, we have to dust again.

How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.

When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"

Me: "Oh hell nah"

I saw your license. It said you're 15.

I checked your face. It says you're 50.

Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.

Your hairline goes back to the Middle Ages.