Age jokes
I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.
Your hairline and your forehead must have a lot in common because they go waaaaaaaayyy back!
One, I grow some som more, yea, I am 4. I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, that's me.
Yo mamma so old that when she farts, we have to dust again.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
I Was Wrong!!!
Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomer age?
Your hairline goes back to the Middle Ages.
I saw your license. It said you're 15.
I checked your face. It says you're 50.
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
Hey, what's your age, Jordan? Probably 5 years old.
Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?
Jm: Excujjimi?
Jk: No offense, Jim.
Jm: Yah, call me hyung!
Jk: But I'm bigger.
Jm: I'm older!
Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.
Jm:......
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
It's often said that people peaked in high school.
I think Trump peaked in kindergarten.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”