Age jokes
I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomer age?
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.
Memes
What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.
Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
One, I grow some som more, yea, I am 4. I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, that's me.
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯
Your hairline and your forehead must have a lot in common because they go waaaaaaaayyy back!
TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
Hey, what's your age, Jordan? Probably 5 years old.
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"