Age jokes

Little Johnny was staying at his grandparents' house, and he asked his grandpa, "Can I have a cigarette?" His grandpa said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" He said, "No." "Then that's your answer." A little bit later, Little Johnny asked for a beer. His grandpa said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" He said, "I already said no." "Well, that's your answer." Later, he was complaining to his grandma, and she gave him cookies. His grandpa came up to him and said, "Can I have a cookie?" Little Johnny said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" His grandpa said, "Well, yes, it can." And Little Johnny said, "Well, go fuck yourself, old man, because these are my cookies."

Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

*Aye, Matey!*

I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀

I am Thor.

And next year, I will be five.

At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.

Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.

Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.

But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?

Because there were too many knights.

What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?

They never get old.

OLD KLADYBOFSIYTFJT

An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:

Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."

Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"

Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."

Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"

Man: "I’m telling everybody!"

I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"

I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."

She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.

I used to look up to my mom, but now that I am 12, I look down on her.

Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?

Because there were only 20 of them.

Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.

If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.

What's the difference between a mole and a priest?

One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.

Why did Chad date the 9 yr old?

Because Stellas hot.

Yo mama so OLD...

Her first Christmas... WAS the FIRST CHRISTMAS!