Age jokes
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.
She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
Your hairline is so far back that it killed the dinosaurs.
TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
What's the best thing about having sex with 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.
One man was very depressed because he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home, and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grieve.
Suddenly, with his head raised up, he sees Santa Claus walking by. "Santa?" he asks. "Why are you early? It is not even Christmas?"
"Ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Let's worry about you instead," says Santa. "What is the problem, my friend?"
"I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house."
Santa: "I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life, and I'll give it to you."
Man: "My first wish is I want my house back."
Santa: "Done!"
Man: "My second wish is I want 1 million in cash in my bank account."
Santa: "Done!"
Man: "My third wish is I also want my job back!"
Santa: "Done, but before I actually give you those wishes, I have to hump you."
Man: "Okay. Let's do it."
So Santa Claus takes off his pants to hump the man.
After they are done humping, Santa asks the man: "How old are you?"
Man: "I am 35 years old."
Santa: "And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!"
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
My friend has a dry sense of humor.
Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.
Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.
Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.
Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomer age?