Aed jokes

Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.

A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.

What do you call an orphan home alone?

A family reunion.

Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?

1 baby in 10 buckets.

Why can't an orphan play basketball?

Because no one will be cheering them on.

What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?

"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."

Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.

Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.

Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!

You: Find a time clock that can change time.

Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.

What do you say to make a redhead mad?

Anything.

What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!

A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.

For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.

I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.

How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?

He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.

What do you call a crazy computer?

Wired.

What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?

Frostbite!

Teacher: Take a seat, class.

Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.

People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.

They can stay in their living room.

How do you stop a skunk from smelling?

Hold its nose.

Worst joke ever.

I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!

What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!