Aed jokes
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.
What do you call sex with a hoover?
Clean sex.
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
Ganesha is an elephant.
when my imaginary mom tells me to calm down
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."
A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"
BA DUM TSS
What does a cloud wear in a storm?
Thunderwear.
What is a king's favorite sized candy? King-sized candy!
A skeleton decided to become an assassin.
He was always skull-king around!
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣
I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
Brazil is a joke.
The UK is a joke. I want to leave ASAP.
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
What’s red and white and black all over?
A dead white man at night time!
"Go frick a cow!"
"I already fricked your mother."
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner.