Aed jokes
Kris
Damn this shit!
Megan Thee Stallion: What!
Kris: My mother is a fucker!
The whole world:
OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.
I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
🥲🥲🥲
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
Snowmen and snowwomen take a stomach piece, making snowballs.
When a rocketship went into space, seven astronauts went into space. That's why it's called NASA.
Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥
What is a fun game for an emo kid?
Tug-o-war with a tree.
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
What's it called when an orphan calls 911?
Operator: Hello, is your family okay?
Orphan: I'm an orphan.
Operator: *bruh*
A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?
It danced its a** off.
What does Pikachu and an orphan have in common?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
How do stars get their name?
By a black hole because it's sueeeee!
This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.
Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!
For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!