Aed jokes

I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."

Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.

Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.

10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!

Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?

Because she fell into a minefield.

You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!

How do you get a discount off groceries?

Scan the emo kid's wrists.

A true God would be godless himself.

What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?

About 15 stone.

Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!

How do you kill a Hindu? PRESS THE RED BUTTON.

I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.

What did the plane say to the tower? "Yo, can I crash at your place for a bit, and can my boy crash at your boy's place?"

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”

I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!

When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,

and then you remember you’re French.

What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?

People jumped off a building to escape it.

Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.

Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.

And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.

Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.

What do you call a tamal that's in a bed?

Tamaleto.

What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?

A receding hairline.

Good Morning! Have a Great Day!

#Ijustwokeup