Aed jokes

I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

...so I threw a dictionary at him.

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

What do you not bring to a paparazzi? A balloon.

What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.

How do you make an emo jump?

A cliff.

I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.

Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?

When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.

A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."

Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?

He was a brave sucker.

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

I want to be a pilot.

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

How do you get an orphan sad?

You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.

I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.

Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?

What is the orphan's favorite toy from his parents?

They don’t have parents to pay for a toy.

Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?

To commit suicide.

I made a website for orphans.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

You: I want my mama.

Me: Soz, you can't even get one.