Aed jokes
Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?
He was a brave sucker.
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
I want to be a pilot.
What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?
One you cut into 2 with a knife.
And the watermelon you cut into pieces.
How do you get an orphan sad?
You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.
I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.
Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?
What is the orphan's favorite toy from his parents?
They don’t have parents to pay for a toy.
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
Q: What movie do orphans hate?
A: Fatherhood.
What do you call a Turk eating turkey?
A cannibal.
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?
When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.
I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.
Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.
So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?
Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."