Aed jokes
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.
I keep it in a jar on my desk.
Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?
He wanted to be able to finger A minor.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
Why is Donald Trump so mad? Because he is a Trumpet!
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
Why is a ball rolling when you put it on a hill?
Because it is circle.
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.
The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"
An anti-bullying PSA and speeding PSA from the same creator meet one another.
The death toll went sky high.