Aed jokes
You're built like a double cheeseburger.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.
What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?
Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"
"Africa," the parrot replied.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
Pulp is a palindrome.
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Q: What’s Jackie Chan‘s favorite drink to have at a bar?
A: Wo-Tah!
I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"
He called the cops.
Life is like a penis. Other people make it hard.
What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?
Because it’s the only magical string in his life.
What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?
Its rings!
In Ukraine, there was a massive wake-up call by Russia. But for some, the results were the opposite.
If I was a raped victim, would silence be the best medicine?
If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.