Aed jokes
Are you with Alex?
Fucking retarded. Go dig a home die, people!
What starts with a "v" and ends with a "k"? A veggie Karen.
I tried to make a website for orphans.
Sadly, I couldn't make a home page.
You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.
Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
What's the best finger for fingering A minor?
Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.
ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.
My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."
"INNOCENT! THERE IS NO WAY TO PROVE THAT THE GIRL WAS 13. It doesn't matter what texts he sent. There is no way to prove that the girl was 13, or the fact that it was a girl. Failed sting operation."
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.
Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
Dmitri! Where's my vodka?
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Ho Lee Fuk.
"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
Your mom is so fat, it takes a year to turn around.
What is a pile of balls?
What are the four letters you don't want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K