Aed jokes
Isn't there a software company named after your dick?
Microsoft?
What do you call an IT teacher that touches his students?
A PDF file.
As a woman, why is your stomach bigger than your bums? 😒
When you don't wear earrings for a long time, the hole can close, and it hurts so much when you want to put it back. 🙄🙄 😁😁😁🤣
When you see a woman with a leg chain, what usually comes to your mind?
What kind of truck does a Mexican drive?
F-Juan Fifty.
A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.
Your hairline has a huge path between it, looks like Moses had something to do with it.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
What do you call Joey in a room? Transgender.
What do you call Josh in a room...
Gay.
There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
You know I would tell you a 9/11 joke, but it just doesn’t hit the spot.
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
Paralyzed Man: *gets up* I’m out of here!
Blind Man: Did that paralyzed man just get up?
Deaf Man: Did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up?
Mute Man: Did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Dead Man: Did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say did that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Doctor: *calls 911*
911 service: 911 what’s your emergency?
Doctor: Yes, uh, a “normal” person just said that did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up?
911 service: *hangs up*