Aed jokes
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
What do you call a pole dancer?
A stripper.
Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?
Option one: Horses can't speak at all.
Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.
Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.
Your mum is so fat that she took a spoon to the supercool.
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.