Aed jokes
Yo mama so stupid, she failed a survey.
Yo mama so ugly, she looks like a green bean with googly eyes.
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
I'd tell a necrophilia joke, but they've been done to death.
Why did the house go to the doctor?
Because it had a window pane.
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.
Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.
Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.
My life is like... the shoe rack-
I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"
She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"
I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
Your mum is so ugly she could make an onion cry.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
What do fish smoke? A puffer.
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
What hurts the most? 😹
A. Breaking up before chewing.
B. Breaking up after chewing.
What did the green grape say to the purple one?
"Calm down and take a breath."