Aed jokes
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?
Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.
How do the Powerpuff Girls vape?
They take a "power puff."
Panchatantra is a collection of Indian fables.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is.
POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."
I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.
Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
What kind of shells do tanks use to cheat?
A-cheat shells.
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.