Aed jokes
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? 🤨
Me: What?
The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
More random keyboard words made into sentences:
This was a joke that was made by someone who had never been to the game before, but who was the first person to make it into a game of game with the intention of being able to play the first person who played it.
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A Juan on Juan.
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
What is the difference between a gay male who is not physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male that is not physically challenged, and a gay male who is physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male who is not physically challenged?
A gay male who is not physically challenged who receives a blowjob from a gay male who is physically challenged would still not believe that the physically challenged male is gay because the gay male who is not physically challenged is the definition of an asshole.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.
A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.
«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.
A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
Yo mama was so fat that she jumped so hard, and the earth started shaking like an earthquake.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.