Aed jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.
The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.
What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.
I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."
Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!
My friend is gay lol. I'm a spagetie fucc, lemme smash, Becky!
Jesus walks into a motel, throws 3 nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for a night?"
One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
Why don't you shower with a Pokemon? He might Pikachú.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
You know chords, right? Well, you know what I love to do? To play with A-minor. You know, feel your fingers on A-minor. Gives you a sense of power, to just F A-minor.
But that's not my favorite thing to fiddle with. That would be the D of minors. It's just solid, you know. If you're clever you can have the D of minors into the C of minors. Or, though a bit tricky, the D of minors into the B of minors.
And at this point you've gotten the point and if I want to continue it would be a bit of a stretch.
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."