Aed jokes
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
Look in a mirror.
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
Three Vulcans walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the first Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The first Vulcan says, "I don't know."
The bartender asks the second Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The second Vulcan says, "I don't know."
The bartender asks Spock, "Y'all want a drink?" Spock says, "Yes."
The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What do you call a dead fly? -- A flew.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.