Aed jokes
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition or addictionary.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.
What place can you find a cow? Mc'Donalds (Eieio)
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
2019, where you can change your gender at a snap of a finger.
I'm supposed to put a joke here.
But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself?
I'm sure you'll laugh.
I know a lot of jokes, but I could learn a femor.
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
A ball hit me in the vagina.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."
So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.