Aed jokes
What do you call a group of masturbating cows?
Beef stroganoff.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
What is a panda's favorite cooking implement?
A pan-duh.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
Why are there no women in the NFL?
Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
My nan coughed and threw up a lung. Now she is dead.
How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?
There are speedos in the microwave.
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
Why is a circle gay?
It's not straight.