Aed

Aed jokes

Rapper

4 views ·

What’s a rapper’s favorite computer key?

The space bar... it lets them space out their rhymes!

Nerd

13 views ·

Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.

Sex

11 views ·

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.

His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"

The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."

Funeral

5 views ·

My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"

When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"

Accident

64 views ·

I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.

Doctor

7 views ·

John pretended to be a doctor.

Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."

John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"

Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."

John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"

Motu said, "I lost my memory."

John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"

Eye

32 views ·

Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"

Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."

The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."

The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"

Drink

Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?

Because they heard the drinks were on the house!

Chef

1 view ·

Why did the short person become a chef?

Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!

Parachute

1 view ·

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.

Parachute

2 views ·

Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?

In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.

Parachute

4 views ·

What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?

One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.