Aed jokes
Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
What do you call a sad Doge?
What?
Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.
That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.
What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.
Once upon a time, three babies were born in 2015. She was always crying for 2015. He loves her birth date. 🤗😈🤗🤕🤒no🤗🤑😱😎🙌🙏🙈🙉🙊
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.
The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"
The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
What do you call an expert fisherman?
A "MASTER-BAITER".
If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."
And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"
What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer.
When you start sweating after filling in "C" for the third time in a row.
What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?
Tan toes.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.