Aed jokes
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're adopted!"
Why were the cherries 🍒 crying?
Because their parents were in a jam.
If a clown farted, would it smell funny?
What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?
Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.
"Eeee, is a time for a tree night out to a tree. 🌲 I can fly to the earth day to day day one night type and a walk in and a tree."
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
What makes it cold in a room? Air conditioning.
What is a good nut?
A magic nut!
Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig?
Because he’s a ball hog.
Why did the guy take a bath? Because he came, and it was too much of a mess.
I am a George Formby fan, and I love football. My favourite manager was Arsène Wenger. My favourite referee was Collina. My favourite player was Dean Windas. So my favourite George Formby song was "Wenger, Collina, Windas."
I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.
I went to an orphanage and had a yo mama smack down. That's it.
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.