Aed jokes
A broken pencil tried to break the laws of physics. It wasn't very sharp.
My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.
In 2016, Americans took "Orange is the New Black" to a whole other level.
I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women's rights book in the fiction section.
I smell ice a mile. Titanic, I want to iceberg.
Get a fucking life, you horny bastards!
Q: What's the first day of the week in outer space?
A: Moonday!
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
An avalanche.
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
What is italian sausage?
The dick of a gay italian.
Why does the Catholic Church have a glory hole inside the confessional booth?
So a priest can give an anonymous blowjob to another bisexual man, or a gay man, or a heterosexual man that has a big dick after the priest hears their confession.
Why can you trust a donut? It tells the hole truth!
If you kill an orphan, would that count as a squad wipe?
Icebergie is a randy.
Moose jokes, why did the moose fly with an airplane? Because it was a skoose.
Why did the alligator see a crocodile?
Because it ate too many humans, and he was sick.
A man walked into the kitchen and asked his blonde wife what she was doing. She said, "I'm trying to do this jigsaw puzzle. It's supposed to be a tiger, but all of the pieces are brown." Her husband then said, "Honey, those are frosted flakes."
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.