Aed jokes
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
What is the worst thing about licking a bald fanny?
Putting the nappy on afterwards.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
If I were in a staring contest with you, I would be looking at a rainbow.
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
If you looked in the mirror, you would see an ugly person, which is you.
Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe
I blend children to make a good living.
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom.
What do you call a bunch of bald paki in a swimming pool? Coco pops.
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search,” as they would say.
By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.
I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.
During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.
Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
There was a woman from Ealing, she had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back, opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling.
How do you surprise a blind guy? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.