How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!
How come Christmas is one time? Because it is so nice!
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?
Wanna know what's funny? Scott's low joke standards.
Son: Dad, am I adopted?
Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?
I didn't put my kids up for adoption.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
A family had a very disobedient dog. It would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.
A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "You're adopted!" The sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"
So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.
Your adopted.
What do you call an orphan with no legs in an adoption center?
Answer: Who cares?
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.
Stinky Steve.
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
Will someone play Roblox Adopt Me with me?
My dad coming back.
I have a daughter; she’s a fan. Her name is Penny. Fan she was born on the mountain Pen y Fan. I adopted her because her mum fell off the cliff after birthing Penny. It doesn’t matter, really; Penny’s mum wasn’t a big fan of her anyway.
