Adoption jokes
Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!
You: Why? I don't have any.
How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!
Q: Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: They come back, unlike their parents.
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
Slit your wrists.
Why couldn't the orphan use his iPhone 6?
He couldn't find the home button.
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
Why did the adopted kid eat the last cookie? Because he was the only one left to adopt; everyone hated him.
Hi, I did not get your email address. I sent you a...
Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.
Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
I adopted you. Now say goodbye, you missed your Spanish lesson...
Why was the kid sad?
He was adopted.
Dad: You're adopted.
Son: Where are my real parents?
Dad: >:D They are dead, now come to their grave and sleep there.
Your face was so ugly, you got adopted by a poop!
Son, you are not precious, so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you.
Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me?
Son, you're adopted!
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!
If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?